My Uncle Pip died and left me his lucky bottle. I suppose I’m fortunate because he left my Grandma Mazur his false teeth. So, I’ve got this bottle now, and I don’t exactly know what to do with it. It’s not like I have a mantel. My name is Stephanie Plum, and I live in a bare-bones apartment on the outer edge of Trenton, New Jersey. I share the apartment with my hamster Rex, and he doesn’t know what to do with the bottle either. The lucky bottle is the size and shape of a beer bottle. The glass is red, and it looks hand-blown. It’s not entirely ugly, especially if you like beer, but it’s also not exotically pretty. And so far it hasn’t been very lucky. I have the bottle sitting on my kitchen counter, between Rex’s hamster cage and the brown bear cookie jar that holds my gun.
It was Monday morning, halfway through June, and Lula was in my apartment doing a pity pick-up because my hunk of junk car was dead, and I needed a ride to work.
“Hunh,” Lula said. “What’s that red bottle on your counter.”
“It’s my magic bottle.”
“Oh yeah, what’s so magic about it? It don’t look too lucky to me. Looks like one of them designer beer bottles only it’s got a fancy glass stopper in it.”
“It’s my inheritance from Uncle Pip.”
“I remember Uncle Pip,” Lula said. “He was older than dirt, right? Had a big carbuncle on his forehead. He was the one wandered out of the senior complex a couple weeks ago during that thunder storm, pissed on a downed electric wire, and electrocuted himself.”
“Yep. That was Uncle Pip.”
I’m a bond enforcement agent, working for my cousin Vinnie, and Lula is the office file clerk, wheelman, and fashion maven. Lula likes the challenge of fitting her plus size body into a size 8 poison green spandex miniskirt and leopard print top, and somehow it all comes together for Lula. Lula’s skin is milk chocolate, her hair this week is fire engine red, and her attitude is pure Jersey.
I’m a couple inches taller than Lula and where her body is overly voluptuous, mine is more 34B. My idea of fashion is a girl cut stretchy t-shirt, jeans and sneakers. My skin is nowhere near chocolate, my shoulder-length, naturally curly hair is plain ol’ brown and often pulled back into a ponytail, my eyes are blue, and I’m still trying to find my attitude.
I hung my purse on my shoulder and pushed Lula to the door. “We need to move. Connie called ten minutes ago, and she sounded frantic.”
“What’s with that?” Lula said. “Last time Connie was frantic was never.”
Connie Rosolli is the bail bonds office manager. My heritage is half Italian and half Hungarian. Connie is Italian through and through. Connie is a couple years older than I am, has more hair than I do, and a consistently better manicure. Her desk is strategically placed in front of Vinnie’s door, the better to slow down stiffed bookies, process servers, hookers with obviously active herpes, and a stream of perverted degenerates with quick rich schemes hatched while under the influence of who-knows-what.
Sizzling Sixteen by Janet Evanovich, copyright © 2010 by the author and reprinted with permission from St. Martin’s Griffin, an imprint of St. Martin’s Press, LLC:
It’s summertime in Janet Evanovich’s Sizzling Sixteen, and it’s so hot Stephanie Plum could cook an egg on her car…if she could keep one long enough! Even though the bodacious bounty hunter is ready to soak up some sun—tan lines be damned!—stuff, as usual, is hitting the fan.
Seems someone has it in for cousin Vinnie. No surprise, since, you gotta admit, the guy’s kind of a perv. But, come on, he’s family—and Stephanie’s boss—and although he certainly needs a good kick in the pants, even she draws the line against him getting whacked. Problem is, the list of possible whackors is longer than the Jersey Turnpike. And with Ma Plum on her case to do something!… Oh, yeah, this’ll be fun!
She and Grandma Mazur aren’t the only ones raring for action. Stephanie’s trusty sidekick, Lula, gets sucked into a Ponzi scheme, and after she pulls her blonde hair out by the black roots, she aims to get even. Between Ranger days and Morelli nights, Steph’s chasing a dangerous skip who thinks he’ll never be missed. And likable loser Walter “Mooner” Dunphy returns to wreak his own brand of havoc. Stephanie doesn’t mind fighting a battle of wits with an unarmed person—or an armed one at that—but this is ridiculous!
Hardcover Book : 320 pages
Publisher: St. Martin's Press, LLC ( June 22, 2010 )
Item #: 12-956324
Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 8.25 x 0.75inches
Product Weight: 12.0 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
I always wait with baited breath for the next novel in this series. I can always count on Janet to deliver a light, funny, entertaining read. HOWEVER, #16 lacked the her usual LOL hilarity and brilliant way with words. Perhaps the most notable was the total lack of sexual tension between Steph & Ranger, Steph & Joe. The doughnut & Cluck-in-a-Bucket routine is also getting pretty worn too, along with Grandma Mazur's penchant for funerals. Come up with something new, J, PLEASE!
You can't have a smokin' hit EVERY time and this one does cool the streak a tad....but what a streak!! Janet never fails to give me something entertaining and downright fun to read. There are some great moments here that can't be missed. Ranger or Joe?...why choose? A Girl does what a Girl has to do! I will keep reading as long as Janet keeps writing. Hello number 17!!! YES!
I have the whole series and wait until Christmas (if I can) to read the latest (my Christmas gift to myself). I sometimes laugh so hard that I end up crying because of the antics of all the characters. My husband has stopped asking me what is wrong and just says " you must be reading your series again". If you need a good laugh, READ THIS SERIES...especially now when you turn on the news and it's all bad. Don't know where you come up with the material Janet but keep it coming please!!!!
All the books in this series are great. When will book 17 be published.. I want more of Steph, Lula, Grandma, and I want more of Joe and Ranger. Love all the people in the series.. When is the next book coming out Janet? Can't wait..