If I Had a Hammer
“If I had a hammer,” I sang, as I used the measuring tape and a pencil to mark where I needed to drill.
From the next room, Tara called, “I’m going to leave if you’re going to sing.”
“I’m not that bad,” I said with mock indignation.
“Oh yes, you are!” She was changing one of the twins in the next room.
We’d been friends forever. Tara’s husband, JB du Rone, was part of that friendship. We’d formed a little group of misfits at our high school in Bon Temps, Louisiana. What had saved us from utter outcast-dom was that we each had a redeeming talent. I could play softball, Tara was a great manager (yearbook, softball team), and JB was incredibly handsome and could play football, given good and patient coaching.
What put us on the fringes, you ask? I was telepathic; Tara’s parents were embarrassing, abusive, poor, and public in their drunkenness; and JB was as dumb as a stump.
Yet here we were in our later twenties, reasonably happy human beings. JB and Tara had married and very recently produced twins. I had a good job and a life that was more exciting than I wanted it to be.
JB and Tara had been surprised—amazed—when they had discovered they were going to be parents, and even more startled to find they were having twins. Many children had grown up in this little house—it was around eighty years old—but modern families want more space. Though cozy and comfortable for two, the house began to creak at the seams after Robbie and Sara—Robert Thornton du Rone and Sara Sookie du Rone— were born, but buying a larger place wasn’t a possibility. That they owned this snug bungalow on Magnolia Street was something of a miracle.
Tara had gotten the house years before when Tara’s Togs started making some money. After careful consideration, she’d chosen the old Sum-merlin place, a bungalow built in the late twenties or early thirties. I’d always loved Magnolia Street, lined with houses from that same era, shaded by huge trees and enhanced with bright flower beds.
Tara’s one-floor house had two bedrooms (one large and one tiny), one bathroom, a kitchen, a living room, a dining room, and a sunroom. The sunroom, which faced the front of the house and lay through an arch to the right of the living room, was becoming the babies’ room because it was actually much larger than the second bedroom. And the closet that served that bedroom backed onto the sunroom.
“If I Had a Hammer” copyright © 2011 by Charlaine Harris, Inc.
There’s nothing like home renovation for uncovering bodies in the walls and otherworldly portals in the attic. Now, for any homeowner who's ever wondered, “What’s that creaking sound?” or fans of reality TV who’d like a bit more unreality, Charlaine Harris and Toni L.P. Kelner—editors of Death’s Excellent Vacation—bring you Home Improvement: Undead Edition—an all-new collection where the undead dabble in DIY.
Sookie Stackhouse resides in these pages in a never-before-published story by Charlaine Harris. And bestselling authors Patricia Briggs, Simon R. Green, Heather Graham, Melissa Marr and nine more outstanding writers construct more frightening and funny fixer-upper tales guaranteed to shake foundations and rattle your pipes!
Hardcover Book : 352 pages
Publisher: Ace Books Inc./Imp Of Putnam Berkle ( August 02, 2011 )
Item #: 13-395216
Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 8.25 inches
Product Weight: 14.0 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
I really enjoyed this anthology. True, the Charlaine Harris story was the reason I bought it. I enjoyed the story but I also enjoyed every other story in the book. Some were better than others but I got some pleasure and even insight in every one. Short stories are great because I can read them when I'm traveling or otherwise pre-occupied and can skip a day or two and not lose the thread of a story. It was my main Halloween reading this year and would fun and entertaining for any time of year
This was your typical anthology, some well written stories and some that left you praying their pen and paper goes missing. I will say this anthology did specialize in the "so so". There were 2 authors that I will be adding to my library, and 2 others that I'll hold judgement on until I read another offering. However, there were a few authors that should be ashamed. If your purchase is based on the Sookie story, keep in mind the purpose behind the anthologies, and know this is not going to be a normal Sookie story. I like the Sookie books, and I enjoyed this short read. However, the story its self is not a normal Sookie tale. Patricia Briggs story was also different, and as is her norm, it was well done. All in all, I'm not regretting the money spent on the hard back.
Reviewer: Ellizabeth K
I bought the book for the Sookie Stackhouse story and it was lame. But there were other stories and authors included that were pretty good.